Week 8

I had an appointment with my personal trainer on Monday. I weighed in and she took all my measurements. It's been about 6 weeks since the last set of measurements and in that 6 weeks I lost 3 pounds, 3% body fat and at least 1/2 inch on every measurement - chest, hips, stomach, thigh, shoulders. It was a remarkable expereince to see these results after struggling so hard to lose weight and then keep it off over the past 10 years. I've worked hard to change my attitudes and habits when it comes to exercise and food. This week's weigh-in and measurement was a wonderful confirmation of all the hard work. Even though I know some of the weight and inches might come back on when I go back to my more normal work out routines, it still feels good to be so lean and trim. I feel really good in my body, which is a great motivation for trying to keep it that way.

I am convinced that bodies matter to God and that faith isn't just about our heads and our hearts. Our bodies are a gift through which we experience the world and with which we can also experience God and God's presence. I believe we can praise God with our bodies if we choose to by dancing, running, moving, stretching and by giving thanks for the wonder and mystery, the simplicity and the complexitiy of the body in which we move through life.

When I'm running I am in my body in ways that I rarely am at any other time in my day. I am conscious of my breath, my arms and legs, my core, I'm paying attention to the world around me and I'm digging deep, especially at the end of these long runs, to find the strength, the endurance to keep going. With every breath I imagine and rely on God's presence as my companion, as a cheerleader as one who doesn't really care how fast or how far I run but who rejoices in the joy I find in my newly developed abilities and strengths. I know that this marathon training is a time when I'm not only training my body but also my mind and my spirit to endure, to face challenges with courage, to take risks, to be in the moment and give thanks for the simple ability to put one foot in front of the other. It is a privilege to be able to do what I'm doing and for that privilege and for all that it's teaching me about life and faith I give thanks.

I read a blog post this past week from a doctor who is working in Haiti. She told a harrowing story of trying to gain entry to the Miami Field hospital with a little girl who was septic and needed emergency surgery. The guard at the gate at 2:00 in the morning decided the hospital was "closed" and wouldn't let them in until the white doctor showed her face and pleaded for the little girl's life. He said he let them in because she was white. The doctor commented that this is one of the sad realities of life in Haiti - those with white skin get better treatment and in some cases Haitians in positions of power use that power to oppress and belittle their own country men and women. The story is so much more powerful in her own words - here is the link to her blog: http://barbieboots.blogspot.com/2010/03/injustice.html It is so important, in my opinion, to hear these stories and grow in understanding and compassion for the complex realities on the ground in Haiti.

Until next week.

Week 7

"When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like a people who dream.


Then our mouth was filled with laughter and our tongue with shouts of joy.


Then it was said among the nations, the Lord has done great things for them.


The Lord has done great things for us and we rejoice." (Psalm 126:1-3)





This was the part of Psalm 126 that I carried with me as I ran this past week. I think this Psalm comes out of the time when Israel was in exile and longing to be restored to her land. As I was running, I thought about what it must be like to be exiled from one's home, removed from that place of safety and security against one's will and forced to live in some other place not of one's choosing. I can imagine that after a while it's hard to dream when you live in exile. I can imagine that the longer the exile continues the harder it is to remember what it was like before and the harder it is also to imagine any kind of hopeful future.





I wondered if this Psalm was written while the people were still in exile or if it was written after they were allowed to return to their homes. Was it written in celebration of something that had already happened or was it written to inspire hope and faithfulness in those who were continuing to live in exile with no end in sight?





Either way, I imagine these words were helpful to the people who sang them and held them in their hearts. It will be possible to dream again. The Lord has not left us completely but will or has restored our fortunes. Maybe the people were able to laugh and shout with joy even in the midst of their time of exile. Maybe they could find things to be happy about and to give thanks to God for even if some of their physical circumstances were less than ideal. I hope this is so.





As I was musing about Israel and her time of exile I started also thinking about the people of Haiti and realized that in some ways many Haitian people have been living in exile since the earthquake. They are still in their country but their homes and so much of what they relied on is destroyed, no longer part of their day to day reality. Where are they finding hope? Are they finding the strength and the imagination to be able to dream of a future not marked by the challenges of living without a home? Or, are the day to day struggles simply to stay alive draining all of their energy and creativity?





I don't know the answer to these questions but I pray that somehow in the midst of all this loss and chaos and ongoing threat of further disaster as the rainy season quickly approaches and people still don't have adequate shelter that the people of Haiti are finding ways to continue to dream, to still be able to laugh and rejoice, in some way. I pray these words from Psalm 126 as I run and I dream of a day when Haiti will be a strong, independent, just and peaceful nation. Maybe if they can't dream right now it will help if those of us who live relatively easy, stable lives can dream and hope for them and on their behalf.





I dedicate all my hours of running, all the sweat and muscle aches and moments when I can't imagine taking another step to Haiti. I am developing the ability to dream of what it will be like to run 26.2 miles. I am developing the mental and physical and spiritual strength needed to make my way through this test of endurance. I pray for Haiti's marathon of recovery and hope that each day she grows in mental, physical and spiritual strength and that every day that the compassion of those who are helping with the recovery along with their desire to be partners in the recovery and not dictators of it wins out over exhaustion, judgment, paternalism and fatalism.





When the Lord restored the fortunes of Haiti, we were like a people who dream.


Then our mouth was filled with laughter and our tongue with shouts of joy.


Then it was said among the nations, the Lord has done great things for them.


The Lord has done great things, and we rejoiced.

Week 6

When we left Madison for Aruba a little over two weeks ago it was still winter. The day we got on the plane it was 6 degrees at 5:30 a.m. When we arrived home from our trip the weather had changed from winter to pre-Spring. The temperatures this week have been in the 40s and it's been raining but what a joyful shift from below freezing.

This morning I ran 13 miles, which is the farthest I have ever run or even imagined I might run in my life. I only began running two years ago and it still blows my mind how many miles I've put on since then and how good I feel about what I'm doing. It's amazing what can change in two year!

Since I began this marathon training program on the first of February I have run in just about every possible weather situation. In February I did 4 miles in a snowstorm - one of those blustery, cold and dry storms with high winds and tiny sharp flakes of snow. "This is good," I thought, "once I make it through this I can make it through anything." "Nothing can stop me now."

Last week in Aruba I ran in very hot temperatures with some humidity. I sweat like I've never sweat before in my life. I reminded myself that it's entirely possible for the day of the race at the end of May to be incredibly hot, in fact three years ago they had to call off the Madison Marathon because of the heat. So, I decided that it was good that I had at least one week of runs in hot temperatures to remember the importance of keeping hydrated and to remember the feeling of running in the heat. (This is easy to forget in Wisconsin in the winter!)

This morning I conquered yet another weather challenge - it was a chilly 40 degree morning with wind and rain! Again, it's entirely possible for May 30th to dawn and for this to be the forecast for the day. You never know what Spring will bring in Wisconsin.

So, I think I've run in every possible weather condition and I know that no matter what I can keep going. It's good to know that the weather, although it may make the race less pleasant, will not stop me from running and doing my very best. In fact, there is a greater sense of accomplishment for me in gutting it out in the cold or the heat or the rain than running only when it's sunny and warm.

I am learning through this process to take the weather as it comes, to not let it keep me from doing what I want to do. I am also challenging myself to find the good in every weather situation even if that good is that it tested me and I was up to the test.

There were good elements to the run this morning besides just finishing it. The earth smells fresh and clean, the birds are singing away and there are so many more of them, and it's very clear that spring is on its way. After three months of cold and dark this is good news no matter how hard it rains or how cold the spring winds blow.

Speaking of the cold and rain, I have noticed this week that all of the global community's and the Haitian government's efforts to shelter the people of Haiti before the coming rainy season have largely been in vain. Too many people are still living in makeshift tents in camps without adequate sanitation. I fear a second disaster, this time one of disease and flooding. What is the holdup? Why aren't people at least getting tents or temporary houses?

And so this too puts my running into a different perspective. I choose to go out, with adequate clothing and gear, to run in the cold and the rain. When I finish that run I know I have a warm and comfortable home to return to, plumbing, a hot shower, dry clothes. No matter how uncomfortable I get on the run, that discomfort ends easily as soon as I head for home. But people who are living under blankets strung up with pieces of rope and tied to who knows what don't have anywhere to go to get dry and warm when it rains. This is wrong. It's a tragedy. It's why I'm so glad I am Running for Haiti.

Please pray for the Haitian people, for their government, for all who are trying to do the right thing. Let us cry out to God for justice on their behalf. And let us each do what we can for them and for all the other people in need in our city, in our country and around the world. God expects nothing less from us, we should expect nothing less from ourselves.

Week 5

O God, you are my God I seek you
My soul thirsts for you
my flesh faints for you
as in a dry and weary land
where there is no water (Psalm 63:1)

On Monday, March 1 Cindy and I arrived in Aruba, which is a very hot and dry island just off the northern coast of Venezuela. The greatest blessing of Aruba's climate is the constant breeze, which makes the heat much more tolerable than it would be otherwise. The language of Aruba is Papamiento, which is a blend of Spanish and Dutch and probably other influences as well. The main industries of Aruba are tourism and Aloe manufacturing. We contributed to both while we were there!

Tuesday morning we got up by 6:00 a.m. So that I could for for a run. Our friends took us to a network of trails that snaked along the windward coast of the island starting at a beautiful, tiny Catholic chapel. I ran my easy 3 miles along a very rocky trail into the wind as the sun was coming up. When I dared look up from watching my feet, I thje jagged shoreline with waves crashing relentlessly as the sun climbed in the sky was breathtaking. The vegetation was primarily cacti and other prickly desert plants and the native island Divi Divi trees..

The rest of the day was spent at Moomba Beach where we played in the water and sat on beach chairs in the shade and tried really hard not to get burnt to a crisp with so much of our pale winter skin exposed to the hot, hot sun. We did a really good job on the sunburn front - no major burns to speak of due to faithful application and re-application of copious amounts of sunscreen – SPF 50.

I woke up early again on Wednesday morning to run a 5 mile tempo run. My first mile was great! I ran it in 9:30 and the second mile in 9:40 (which is really fast for me). But then I had to turn around at the 2.5 mile point and lo and behold I had been running with the wind! The last 2.5 miles were tough but I managed to squeak it out and finished just over my hoped for time. Looking back now I know I didn't drink enough water during or after that run. I had only brought a tiny 6 oz bottle to carry as I ran and I know I kept sweating for at least an hour after the run as I sat out on the balcony and ate my breakfast and chatted with Cindy and our friends. Then another day at the beach.

Thursday was a day to rest from running but we spent another full day at the beach with very little water and by Thursday night I was starting to feel a little strange. After dinner, some Gatorade and a lot of water I was feeling a little better so I woke up on Friday morning for another 5 mile run, this one at an easy pace. I don't remember ever sweating this much in my life!

By Friday late afternoon I was not feeling right at all. We made a last minute decision to go to a clinic with some concern about heat exhaustion and to make sure I was doing the right things – drinking water and Gatorade and eating regular meals. Unfortunately, the doctor at the clinic had left for the day and so they sent us to the Emergency Room. After being in the Emergency Room for 3 hours or so, I was starting to feel better. But, since we were in a strange country and I really didn't want to be sick for the last few days of vacation we stuck it out to see the doctor just in case there was something I should do that we weren't thinking of. Once the Dr. heard I hadn't been vomiting or having diarrhea he said “there's nothing I can do for you” and left the exam room. Even if that was true, it wasn't how I hoped to be treated as a worried tourist in a strange, very hot and very dry place. Fortunately, by the time I went to bed I was certain the worst had passed.

Saturday was my 40th birthday. I enjoyed a relaxed morning and a 3 hour spa afternoon with my honey complete with jacuzzi, steam room, exfoliating scrub, massage, manicure and lunch and plenty of WATER! It was luxurious and followed by a delicious evening meal at a sushi restaurant.

I ran my Saturday morning run, a mere 6 miles, on a treadmill in the workout room at the resort where we were staying and drank so much water and Gatorade after it I though I was going to burst my stomach.

I now have a whole new appreciation for heat and for the importance of hydration. At home, running throughout the winter I have hardly given hydration a thought. There have even been some runs where I realized much later that I didn't drink any water at all. But, this week of running in the sun and heat has taught me an important lesson and I am really glad to be learning this lesson BEFORE marathon day. I have already vowed to be much more conscientious, especially when running in unfamiliar places where the temperature hovers in the 80s and 90s all the time.

The authors of the Psalms knew the type of climate and temperature I experienced this past week. They knew what it was to be thirsty, to feel weak and in dire need of hydration. They knew the life giving properties of water and they knew that lack of water was a death sentence. My experience this past week with getting a little dehydrated in a hot and dry climate has given me a new appreciation for the imagery of this Psalm. It is very scary to feel sick from a lack of water.

As Psalm 63 continues, it is very clear that this psalm is a love song to God. A song of appreciation, adoration and gratitude and a prayer that reminds us that God's presence is to our souls like water is to our bodies. Without it we do not and cannot live. In the case of water, we literally cannot live without water. In the case of God we cannot and do not live and thrive spiritually without God's presence. Our dry and thirsty souls need God's quenching love and presence. They yearn for God and God yearns for us as in a dry and weary land. For water that keeps the body healthy and strong and for God's love that hydrates the weary soul I give great thanks this day. Amen.

Week 4

I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living. (Psalm 27:13)

It is not easy to see the goodness of God in the land of the living at the end of February in Wisconsin, at least not in the natural world. By this time of year the bloom is off the rose on the landscape of winter. The snow is dirty, the trees remain leafless, and everything else seems lifeless. The yearning to see signs of new life in the coming of spring grows stronger with every passing day. The goodness of God is not readily apparent but I have faith that it is there if we only know where and how to look.

This week's 11 miles training run took me from my house towards Lake Mendota and on from there to downtown Madison before I turned and headed back toward home. As I was running along the lakeshore path that skirts Lake Mendota and wondering about seeing the goodness of God I remembered something a gardener friend told me. He said that some of the most important growth for plants and trees happens at this time of the year. Under the ground, out of sight all kinds of activity is taking place – root systems are growing and renewing themselves and bugs and microbes and other stuff in the soil are doing their jobs so that when Spring comes the plants and trees are ready to burst forth with new life.

This thought led me to consider what is also happening out of sight in my body as I train for this marathon. Every time I work out my muscles are tearing and rebuilding themselves, and my blood vessels, heart and lungs are growing stronger, doing what they need to do to respond to the ways in which they are being pushed beyond their previous limits. All of this important and much needed goodness is happening in my body out of sight and it won't really be until I cross the finish line of the marathon at the end of May that I will reap the benefits of all of the effort I am pouring into this endeavor now.

It is possible always to see the goodness of God in the land of the living but it in not always possible to seeitwith our eyes. Sometimes, we have to operate in faith trusting that the goodness is there even when it isn't visible. Even if it's not possible forus to see goodness in dead-looking trees and last year's brown and dried grasses and plants doesn't mean God's goodness isn't right in front of our eyes. It just means we haven't yet figured out how to perceive it.

We learned this week that the one Haitian student in our Haiti Partners SPARE program that we thought had been killed in the earthquake is actually alive in a hospital in Ivory Coast, Africa. She was taken there to receive treatment for extensive head injuries two days after the earthquake. She is badly injured and in need of significant medical treatment but she is alive.

This made me wonder how many other stories like this are there now unfolding of people who were taken all over the world in a desperate attempt to save their lives who had no identification, who family members are assuming are dead and who will be treated, hopefully healed and then what? This situation only reveals the tip of the iceberg of what I can imagine is the complete chaos of people's lives and of the situation in Haiti with so many nations and agencies and organizations responding with resources, supplies, assisatnce of all kinds but with no coordinated effort or centralized system of keeping track of who is being served and who is still in need.

Even in the midst of all of this chaos and confusion I believe we cansee the goodness of God in the land of the living and that we will continue to see God's goodness in Haiti and now in Chile and in every other place where people try to care for and respond to one another with love and compassion. We may have to train our eyes and hearts to observe things differently, to give others the benefit of the doubt and to trust that even in the midst of pain and sorrow, even when things appear dead and lifeless, God's goodness is all around yearning to be seen.